For generations, men have been told to stay strong, keep their emotions in check, and carry life's burdens without complaint.
Vulnerability was often mistaken for weakness, leaving many men to wrestle with grief, loneliness and self-doubt in silence.
A new anthology edited by acclaimed Zimbabwean author Sue Nyathi hopes to change that narrative.
“Man-Hood: Confessions from the Heart" brings together 21 men from different backgrounds who share deeply personal essays about what it means to be a man today.
Rather than challenging women's stories, the collection builds on the conversation Nyathi began with her 2021 anthology “When Secrets Become Stories: Women Speak Out”.
The result is a collection that explores masculinity with honesty, examining everything from fatherhood and failure to cultural expectations, identity and emotional well-being.
The book questions the traditional image of men as nothing more than protectors, providers and procreators. Instead, it presents men as people navigating complicated lives while searching for purpose, healing and connection.
Among the contributors is Khathu Maestro, who described being invited to participate in the anthology as a privilege.
“I am deeply honoured to be part of ‘Man-Hood’, the powerful new book by the phenomenal Sue Nyathi,” he said.
Maestro contributed an essay titled “A Journey Back to Myself”, which he described as one of the most personal pieces that he has ever written.
“It is raw. It is honest. It is brave. And it comes from a deeply personal place.”
For Maestro, telling difficult stories can become an act of healing not only for the writer but also for readers.
“I believe that some stories are not meant to be kept hidden. They must be told because somewhere, someone is waiting to find language for what they have been carrying.”
His words capture the spirit of the anthology. Rather than presenting polished versions of masculinity, the writers expose moments of uncertainty, regret, resilience and hope.
The essays also reflect how ideas of manhood differ across cultures while revealing common struggles that transcend borders.
Japanese educator Katsuya Watanabe brings an international perspective to the collection, reflecting on growing up with expectations that men should endure hardship without complaint and measure their worth through silence.
“When Sue first invited me to contribute to this project, I accepted without hesitation,” he said.
For Watanabe, writing the essay became an opportunity to examine beliefs about masculinity that had shaped his life for decades.
“I wrote about what a more sincere way of being might look like.”
His reflections were shaped by personal experience. Having lived through the 2011 Great East Japan Earthquake and the Fukushima nuclear disaster while supporting students as a high school teacher, Watanabe understands the pressure many men feel to remain composed regardless of circumstance.
He believes that version of strength ultimately prevented him from living as his authentic self.
While his experiences are rooted in Japan, Watanabe recognised parallels with South Africa's history.
“I have heard that South Africa has a history where the migrant labour system tore families apart for decades. I imagine that there, too, a history remains where absence was left as a template for manhood.”
Rather than writing as an observer, he wanted to contribute a personal story that might resonate across cultures.
“I did not want to write as an outsider offering commentary from a distance. I wanted to write from my own personal experience in the hope that something might resonate, even from so far away.”
The anthology arrives at a time when conversations around men's mental health, fatherhood and emotional well-being are becoming increasingly important. Across the world, many men are questioning long-held beliefs about masculinity and searching for healthier ways to express themselves.
“Man-Hood” does not claim to have all the answers. Instead, it creates space for difficult conversations and reminds readers that vulnerability is not the opposite of strength.
By bringing together voices from different generations, professions and cultures, Nyathi has created a collection that challenges stereotypes while encouraging empathy.
The book suggests that modern masculinity is not defined by silence or stoicism but by the courage to tell the truth.
lutho.pasiya@nationalmg.co.za