While pregnancy is an undeniable cause for celebration, the constant pressure to maintain a perfect performance, both at work and at home, leaves many expecting mothers feeling drained long before the baby arrives.
Striking a seamless balance between professional ambition and family life is a myth. Instead of striving for perfection, experts and new mothers agree that the real key lies in setting realistic expectations, building a reliable support network early, and replacing guilt with practical support.
"This is the most beautiful chapter of your life, embrace and cherish every single moment." Many women hear these exact words upon announcing that they are expecting a child.
While pregnancy and motherhood can undoubtedly be filled with beautiful and unforgettable moments, there is another side to the experience that is not always spoken about.
The beautiful, exhausting reality of preparing for motherhood
Behind the excitement of preparing to welcome a new life can be exhaustion, emotional overwhelm and the constant pressure of trying to keep everything else together.
As an expecting mom, this does not mean that I am not grateful for this chapter of my life or that I am not enjoying the journey.
But I also believe there should be room for honesty when we talk about pregnancy and motherhood.
Maybe we need to move away from the idea that pregnancy is always beautiful, effortless and whimsical. Some moments are magical, but there are also moments that are messy, overwhelming and incredibly tiring.
I wish more women were told that there will be days when they simply do not have the energy to show up for everything and that it is completely okay to feel that way without feeling guilty.
There are days when the guilt creeps in and makes me question whether I am doing enough.
When I pour my energy into work, I feel as though I am neglecting this chapter of my life, and when I focus on myself and preparing for my baby, I worry that I am falling behind professionally.
It feels like an endless cycle of trying to keep everything “perfect” while still worrying if I’m not falling short in another aspect of my life.
As I prepare to step into motherhood, one question continues to sit at the back of my mind: How do I find a healthy balance between building a career and creating a fulfilling family life?
Trying to balance a growing family and career
Founder and CEO of NSP Occupational Therapy Services and Front Row Medics, Nonhlanhla Mbokane, says that the transition into motherhood can be particularly challenging for first-time mothers.
“The transition into motherhood is one of the most meaningful and beautiful changes a woman can experience, but it can also be physically exhausting, emotionally overwhelming and mentally demanding,” she says.
Mbokane believes that preparing for motherhood should begin mentally, with expecting mothers encouraged to consider different options and practical arrangements that could make the transition easier.
“Expecting mothers can prepare mentally by replacing rigid expectations with flexible plans.
“It is helpful to think about childcare, feeding arrangements, transport, household responsibilities, finances, medical appointments and the expected return-to-work date,” she says.
For mothers who constantly feel as though they are falling short while trying to manage their careers and family responsibilities, Mbokane emphasises that there is no such thing as achieving a “perfect balance”.
Instead, she encourages mothers to focus on finding a rhythm that works for their individual circumstances, one that allows room for flexibility when life changes.
Why having a village matters before the baby arrives
Another important part of preparing for motherhood is creating a strong support system before the baby arrives.
Mbokane advises expecting mothers to identify people and services they can rely on, rather than waiting until they are overwhelmed to ask for help.
“Identify reliable childcare, backup childcare, practical household assistance, emotional support and professional help.
“Discuss responsibilities with your partner or family before the baby arrives. Independence is not the same as doing everything alone,” she says.
She adds that women should also permit themselves to adjust to the many changes that come with becoming a mother, rather than expecting themselves to have everything figured out immediately.
“The transition into motherhood asks a woman to hold love, responsibility, ambition, vulnerability and change at the same time. She does not need to master all of it immediately.
“A meaningful career and a connected family life do not require a perfect mother; they require a supported mother who is allowed to recover, learn, adapt and remain human as her family grows,” she explains.
How one new mom is learning to balance her career and motherhood
For new mom Dimpho Mkhize, a patient experience coordinator who works night shifts, navigating motherhood alongside a demanding career has also come with its fair share of challenges.
However, she says building a routine that caters to both her home and professional responsibilities has helped her manage the demands of both worlds.
While juggling motherhood and a demanding work schedule can be difficult, Mkhize says the experience has also allowed her to develop personally and professionally.
“Although balancing motherhood and a demanding work schedule is not always easy, I see it as an opportunity to grow.
“It has taught me resilience, responsibility and the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between my personal and professional life,” she shared.
kamogelo.makhura@nationalmg.co.za