The discovery of nine women’s bodies in Ekurhuleni since July is a horrifying reminder of South Africa’s femicide crisis, where the murder rate for women stands at five times the global average. But stopping this national emergency requires looking beyond the crime scenes.
Long before violence turns fatal, it is nurtured by everyday misogyny, locker-room jokes, and complicit silence. Ending gender-based violence cannot remain a burden for women to manage; it requires men to actively challenge the culture that enables it.
South Africa’s femicide rate has been reported at about five times the global average. Parliament cited a rate of nine women murdered per 100,000 and said 957 women were murdered between July and September 2024.
While women continue to carry much of the burden of protecting themselves from violence, psychologists and gender-based violence researchers argue that men must be part of prevention.
Accountability starts before violence
Counselling psychologist Vuyani Nyezi, founder and chief executive officer of Life Changing Journey, said accountability begins with men examining the beliefs that they have learned about masculinity.
“We need to be willing to examine the messages we have received about what it means to be a man,” Nyezi said.
He said ideas that men must always be dominant, emotionally strong, sexually entitled or in control of women can become normalised.
“Unlearning them requires men to question attitudes and behaviours that reinforce inequality, disrespect and the idea that women owe men attention, sex, obedience or emotional labour.”
Nyezi said healthier masculinity should include emotional responsibility, empathy, respect and self-awareness rather than dominance or control.
He also believes that conversations around masculinity can include spirituality when it encourages introspection and responsibility.
“Spirituality, when approached responsibly, can encourage introspection, humility, compassion and accountability. It should never be used to justify male dominance or silence women.”
For Nyezi, accountability also means accepting when behaviour is wrong and taking steps to change it.
“Acknowledging when you are wrong, apologising, changing your behaviour and respecting another person's boundaries are signs of emotional maturity,” he said.
Silence can become part of the problem
Accountability does not only concern men who commit violence. It also extends to those who witness harmful behaviour and choose to remain silent.
Nyezi said men should stop dismissing misogynistic comments or abusive conduct as “boys being boys”.
When a friend makes a degrading comment about women, pressures someone sexually or behaves abusively, he said other men can intervene by challenging the behaviour, checking on the person affected and encouraging professional support where necessary.
“Accountability can begin with simple but direct interventions,” he said.
Professor Corné Davis-Buitendag, an associate professor in the Department of Strategic Communication at the University of Johannesburg, said GBV does not begin with the most extreme act of violence.
“We tend to focus on the horrific end of the continuum, the rape, the assault or the femicide, while overlooking the attitudes and behaviours that precede it,” she said.
Davis-Buitendag said everyday conduct can contribute to an environment where misogyny becomes normalised. This includes sexist jokes, conversations that objectify women, controlling behaviour, victim-blaming and sexual entitlement.
She said silence can also protect the person causing harm.
“People often know. Friends know. Families know. Colleagues know. Institutions sometimes know. Yet silence can end up protecting the person causing the harm rather than the person experiencing it.”
Building a different idea of masculinity
Davis-Buitendag said men have significant influence over one another because ideas about masculinity are shaped through families, friendships, workplaces, sport, popular culture and online spaces.
Challenging harmful attitudes does not always require confrontation. It can mean refusing to laugh at a sexist joke, questioning controlling behaviour or challenging the idea that jealousy is evidence of love.
“We need to offer a different understanding of strength,” she said.
“Strength is not domination, aggression, sexual entitlement or control over women. Strength can be empathy, emotional intelligence, self-control, respect for boundaries and the courage to challenge your own friends when they are behaving badly.”
South Africa’s national response to GBVF also recognises prevention as part of the broader response. Parliament has called for stronger prevention measures alongside justice reform, survivor support and improved services.
The responsibility therefore cannot end with telling women how to stay safe. It extends to the men around them and the communities in which harmful behaviour takes place.
For Davis-Buitendag, meaningful male allyship goes beyond declaring that one would never hurt a woman.
“It is being willing to challenge the attitudes, behaviours and silences that make violence against women possible.”
lutho.pasiya@nationalmg.co.za