Not too long ago, weekends were meant for doing the absolute minimum. Today, even our downtime feels like an item on a to-do list, packed with errands, organised events, and social media-worthy activities.
But our obsession with constant productivity comes at a cost. Research shows that treating leisure as wasteful or feeling guilty about relaxing actually triggers anxiety and robs us of rest.
In a culture that treats busyness like a badge of honour, stepping back to enjoy an empty Sunday isn't lazy - it is essential recovery for an overworked mind.
But despite what we tell ourselves, doing nothing may not be as pointless as we have been led to believe.
Researchers have been looking at the way we use our leisure time and found that our attitude towards it matters.
A 2021 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, involving four studies and 1,310 people, found that people who regarded leisure as wasteful or unproductive tended to enjoy it less.
They also reported lower levels of happiness and greater depression, anxiety and stress, meaning that we feel guilty about relaxing, taking away some of the benefits that relaxation is supposed to provide.
Why being busy became a badge of honour
There is another reason we may find relaxing difficult.
Research published in Psychological Science in 2010 looked at what researchers called “idleness aversion”. They found that people can have an aversion to being idle and may look for reasons to keep themselves occupied, even when the activity itself isn't particularly useful.
This may explain why sitting in the garden with a cup of coffee can sometimes feel less comfortable than cleaning the garage because it gives you something to show for your afternoon.
We may also have convinced ourselves that being busy is a sign that we are doing well.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that busyness and a lack of leisure time can function as a status symbol. People tended to associate busy individuals with qualities such as competence, ambition and being in demand.
“I've been so busy” has almost become a humblebrag while “I had absolutely nothing to do today” doesn't have the same ring to it.
I find it liberating to climb into my car, leaving home with no appointment, no shopping list and no particular deadline.
More often than not, I take the long way around, sometimes stop at a coffee shop that popped up on my social media feed or step into an exotic car dealership just to look at what a Lotto win might purchase.
This is one reason day drives remain so appealing. You don't necessarily need to book accommodation, take leave from work or spend thousands of rands to feel as though you have escaped.
A decent road, some interesting scenery and somewhere to stop for lunch is enough.
The problem with filling every spare minute
The same principle applies at home.
We have become accustomed to the idea that leisure needs to be an experience, and social media has not helped.
Open any feed on a Saturday morning, and there seems to be an endless stream of people hiking mountains, visiting markets, eating elaborate meals, travelling to remote destinations or renovating their homes.
As social media tends to do, it can leave you with the impression that everyone else is having a more interesting weekend than you are.
Our phones make it increasingly difficult to experience an empty moment.
There is always something to check. WhatsApp, Instagram, news, X, email and then WhatsApp again.
You aren't necessarily working, but you aren't really doing nothing either.
Research into social media and wellbeing is complicated, and it would be wrong to suggest that every minute spent online is bad. Social media can provide entertainment and connection.
But some research has linked passive or problematic social media use with poorer emotional outcomes.
More importantly, our phones provide an almost limitless supply of stimulation whenever we become bored.
A 2014 study published in Science asked people to spend time alone with their thoughts, without much else to occupy them. Many found the experience surprisingly unpleasant, and some participants chose to give themselves a mild electric shock rather than simply sit and think.
Apparently, doing nothing can be harder than we think, but it doesn’t mean we should avoid it.
Sometimes your brain needs to wander
Research into mind-wandering suggests that stepping away from a problem and allowing the brain to wander can sometimes help with creative thinking.
A study published in Psychological Science found that people who were given an undemanding task that allowed their minds to wander during a break subsequently performed better on some creative problem-solving tasks.
There is also a cost to never properly switching off.
Research into psychological detachment from work has found that being able to mentally disconnect from work during leisure time is associated with better wellbeing.
Leisure isn't simply the absence of work; it is part of how we recover from it.
The forgotten pleasure of an empty Sunday
There is a particular pleasure in waking up on a Sunday morning and knowing that nothing is planned.
You can make breakfast slowly, get a copy of your favourite read, potter around in the garden and spend an hour doing something that would normally take 20 minutes because there is no reason to hurry.
You might wash the car, not because it needs washing but because you enjoy doing it.
You could start fixing something in the garage and then discover that you have spent an hour looking through old tools and photographs instead.
None of this is particularly productive.
The point being that not everything we do has to have a measurable result.
Cooking can be the same. There is a difference between throwing dinner together because you are hungry and spending a lazy Sunday afternoon making something slowly.
Even sitting around a fire with friends, talking about nothing in particular, can be a better way of spending an evening than rushing off to the next organised activity.
Not everything needs a purpose
We should stop viewing doing nothing as another opportunity for self-improvement.
We don't need to call it mindfulness; we don't need an app to measure it; we don't need to put it in our calendars because sometimes a cup of coffee in the garden is simply a cup of coffee in the garden.
In a world that constantly tells us to do more, buy more, see more and experience more, there is something satisfying about deciding that, for a few hours at least, you are going to do less.
willem.vdputte@inl.co.za